It's Spring

Spring has arrived here. I know, Spring doesn't arrive until March. But today, we are in single digits temperature wise - Yeah, it's in the negative, but still, it's single digits.

I was outside shoveling earlier. We only got a dusting over night, but my OCD can't handle snow on my sidewalk -- although, I will admit, there has been a dusting of snow on my sidewalk for about a week now. But OCD or not, nothing was going to make me go out in -45c temperatures to shovel it. Even I have my limits.

We are hoping to get outside to the hill. It's almost a sin to be inside on days like today.

I have to go shopping later. I hope drivers are in a good mood. Trust me, when it's -45c outside, it's a fend for yourself attitude on the road. No one is smiling.

My son is up at camp. No calls, means good news. I'm sure he is having a blast and enjoying everything. It was weird last night. I was sitting watching TV and definitely something was missing. I wasn't hearing him talk, complain or anything about bedtime. Bullets from his nerf gun didn't fly through the house and hit me. I slept through the night. And when I woke this morning, I forgot he wasn't here. And then I woke completely up, and realized.. "OMG, I have go through another day of this???" My son definitely brings a quirkiness to my life. Without him around, there is a huge void. And whereas I should be enjoying the calmness around us, I miss it. I know he is having a blast. It's warmer for him! (He is not one for cold).

Spring... it's like have a little skip to my walk. I can feel spring, even though it's not for 2 more months... even though we'll shoot down to sub zero temperatures in a week... or a few days.

Procrastination gets you no where

Yeah, once again procrastination reared it's ugly head today. Today I was to meet with my guarantor for my passport. Today we'd put pen to paper and sign our lives away.

This morning, I decided I'd better get to filling out those papers. I finally cleared away the clutter of my space.. found the printer and plugged it in. I bid farewell to my husband and daughter who were off to go grocery shopping.

Then I tried to print. And lo and behold no ink.

And alas, the passports weren't going to be completed by 11:30a.m. No way, no how.

So, our lunch meeting is canceled. Next week it will happen.

I do vow, that today, I will get it done. Today those papers will be waiting for signatures -

I'll even put them some place safe. And I'll try to remember where I put them!!!

Much the same

today was it was yesterday. it's bitterly cold. I have not gone out in it yet. I will though, otherwise a couple of kids won't get home from school.

Apparently, this weekend the weather forecasters are 'predicting' a high of 0 on Sunday. Yeah, right. They normally can't predict the current weather, never mind 3 days from now.

I do hope it warms up, since my baby will be heading north camping. I still don't want him to go. I'm not entirely convinced he is ready. O.k. O.k. he is ready. I'm the one who isn't ready.

-49 with windchill today

and school still wasn't canceled.

Tire pressure and Oil changes

I had the van's oil changed today. It was due. Past due by a hundred miles, actually. And today is Tuesday - it's $5 off at Jiffy Lube.. hmmm... I think it was Jiffy Lube. In any case, the van's oil is nice and clean.. and I'm good for another couple of months. I think? Part of the service is having fluids checked, topped off and checking the tire pressure. The woman who was checking the pressure, asked if I had a pressure gauge. I said noooooooo.... She said it would be a very good idea to get one. Apparently, my rear driver side tire, had no reading at all.. it was very very low.

And that pretty much explains everything. It was just odd, that after coming to a stop sign, it would take a minute to exit the stop sign.. my tires would spin and spin and spin. And I just figured it was the good old city of Winnipeg's lack of sanding.

The drive home from the oil place, was a piece of cake.. it almost felt as if I was riding higher..

Another interesting tidbit of information. Uplander's all have an oil indicator. It will let you know how low your oil is, and suggest that when you hit zero - it's time to bring the van in! Another interesting tidbit, the sticker that oil place gives you -- the one with the mileage on it, to let you know when to bring the van back to get the oil changed, it's totally different from the indicator in the van. like way different... the van's indicator goes off way before, I'm even near the mileage!!! And another interesting tidbit, you can change that oil indicator, any old time you want. If you see the numbers low, reset it. It will bring the indicator up to 99%. Seriously! Now, I don't condone this at all. And I would have never noticed this if it wasn't for a couple of weeks ago. I was driving and noticed my indicator on. It was reading, I had 3% left in the van. It was on a Thursday that day... and I planned to go on the next Tuesday (to get the $5 off!). Over the weekend, my husband CHANGED the indicator.. and up it popped up to 99%! Over the weekend, or maybe that Monday, I noticed that the indicator was showing we had a lot of oil. When my husband got home that night, I asked him if he "added" oil to the van to top it off? He said "noooooooooooo" And I could tell, he was definitely hiding something. I told him what I knew and he confessed to making the oil indicator up 99%. Because... he doesn't believe in timely oil changes. Because... his BROTHER (who was in his early 20's then) HAD a car and he went YEARS without an oil change. And my husband, thinks "it's all a farce and scam..." "because if my brother could go that long....."

My eyes popped.

My head didn't' spin.

But I wasn't nice. I'm not sure of the exact wording either, but I said something like.. "your brother is a complete idiot - young and stupid." And your brother doesn't or didn't have a family to drive around, a mortgage, 2 car payments, and one working parent" "Your brother would be o.k. with the engine blowing up - he didn't have to worry about feeding his family!"

I could tell mentally my husband was rolling his eyes. And that is something I will have to live with. I mean, at least he didn't do it physically! ROFLMAO

I'm not entirely sure, how long my husband has been playing with the oil indicator. I don't think I want to know. I almost feel violated he did this... and I'm counting my lucky stars that our engine hasn't blown up!

But the bigger question is - Do we listen to the van's oil indicator or the mileage indicator?

I love being a Stay at home mom

Some days it can be very isolating. Especially when you reach a point in your life, when most of your friends have gone off to work in the outside world. Their days of diapers, and preschool are over. They were the smart ones.. ones that started early. I started relatively late compared to them. I started when I was 30. I guess I could have gone back to work bang on. But I didn't. 12 years later, I'm still doing the same thing. Only it's lonelier. Sure, I volunteer at the schools. But I'm old compared to them. There is nothing like watching the energy level of a 20 something year old. I miss that. I miss that I never had that. LOL

And soon, like a in few years.. I will be donning resumes and begging for a job. Any job that doesn't have me wearing a McDonald's uniform. "Would you like fries with that?" O.k. I'm not downing anyone who works there. I worked there once, when I was 16. I hated it. Fast food is not for me... oh sure, my body LOVES it... I think McDonalds is the perfect first job.. in fact every teenager should have to work fast food at one point or another... it builds character!
Yeah.. sure.. it really does!!!! It built mine... the "I'll never work at this place ever again" character!

But yeah... it's times like today when my house is quiet. All the kids are in school - the baby is in preschool for 2 hours. It's empty. And I'm never really ever sure what to do with myself during those times. It's odd. It's hard to motivate myself. Why? Cause I'm not a 20 something year old full of young energy. I'm 40 something (low something) year old who has energy, but exhausted energy. Now, trust me, I have nothing to be exhausted about... I guess thinking about the last 12 years is exhausting enough... maybe it's more of a misguided exhaustion? a hopeless exhaustion?

Maybe. Maybe just maybe is lazy exhaustion? Because I've never had downtime. I've never had 2 whole hours without caring for someone. And I look at my house and see it's relative disaster and think.. I could spend this time wisely. Yeah.. wisely... that means cleaning it! O.k.. if I say cleaning it.. it sounds like it's dirty.. o.k. lets try.. that means tidying it! Yeah, that sounds much better.. I'll tidy my house.

And then that leads me to the next thought -- why do I want to tidy everyone else's stuff on my time off?

Yeah.. well, because I'm a stay at home mom and I signed myself up for this. This was the job I agreed to do. No, not a job.. a lifestyle.

I'll be honest. This job was a whole lot better when my friends didn't work. This time would have been filled with coffee hours, visiting each others homes... coffee and chit chat. Yeah.. I'm sure it would have been exactly like that!!!

Pictures...

naw.. too lazy to scan and/or copy pictures over here today... I promise one day too.. but currently my "counter" is just too cluttered to even attempt to pull on the scanner and I've only got a few minutes to spare, so I don't have time to look on Iphoto for pictures to share...

But today, my youngest and I had our passport pictures taken. Look straight ahead and don't smile. Almost impossible for a three year old.. and 4 pictures later, we got a perfect one. I had a great one on the 1st try (bravo!). :)

So, now I print off the forms.. which I can't do, because well, my scanner is also my printer! Yup. hmmmf. I also know I need ink for it as well. Tonight, I will declutter my brain, and then declutter my "counter" and get to work on that. I'm hoping it's some other colour besides black that needs replacing.. I just need the black ink this time around.

It's funny how mug-shottish passport pictures look. You have to have your ears showing too. And nothing in your hair. You must remain as ugly as possible. I'm surprised they don't want us showing teeth.

My completion time for the passport is by the end of next week -- no, not having the passport in my hand, but having the paperwork all sent in! Passport will be months in the making.

Packing for Camp

It's interesting. Here, we have Winter camp. I guess, if you can't beat the snow, you might as well go camping in it! My son is going way to camp soon. And the item list that we need is just crazy. I know they want us to pack on the errrrr of caution. After all, these are 9 year old boys.

Being a good mom, I ordered him from Sears a pair of long johns. Bravo... (are you standing and applauding?) I didn't have to rush around and get him what he needed... got it early, no stress.

Well, guess what? He needs 2 pairs of long johns and 2 thermal shirts!! ARRRCCCKKKKKK!

Like anywhere in North American in January, guess what most stores have done? Went directly to summer! ARRRRCCCCKKKKKKKK!

So, today.... out I run. I just pray and hope and plead with the "camping gods" that there will be some winter stuff left!!!

Now, I can't substitute this stuff... he HAS to have it. Otherwise he won't be able to go camping and I'll be the worse mom in the world.

Camp. Not only do I have the stress of sending him off an hour from home with complete strangers, I now can stress over long underwear. Honestly. There better be a badge for the mom's coming. Let's see, I figure I should get these badges...

1. The sewing badge. Cause really -- have you sewed badges onto a sleeve of a shirt??? Really... I had to sew like 6! I cried the whole time. Not to mention the sewing of little badges onto the sash.

2. The colour matching badge Because all the badges come in different colours. I had to take these badges to a sewing store and very carefully, match thread to badge. O.k.. I will share this badge with my 11 year old, who I took with me and helped tremendously with this.

3. The shopping badge - because there is always "something" that I need to buy.

4. The nutritional badge - because my son eats junk at his weekly meetings. And I feel like an ogre trying to make up for it the day before and after.

5. The bravery badge - because soon, I will have to say goodbye to my son who is going away with very qualified strangers for a few days. And it will be the LONGEST weekend of my life.

and last but not least...

6. The idiot badge - because I wouldn't be stressing now, if I had not lost the supply list a month ago.... heck, if I READ the supply list a month ago, I would have seen what was required.

And I guess my son deserves this badge:

1. The neurotic mother badge - cause he has had to deal with my neurotic-ness . Poor kid.

Packing for camp is soooooooo much easier in the Summer. And more enjoyable too, as I'm going camping too!

Passports

A per a new law, on June 1, 2009 all Canadians will need a passport to enter the U.S. Currently, we just show our driver licenses and birth certificates.. or if you are like me, I just show my citizenship card and driver license.

I've got 6 months to get 6 people a passport. I'm not complaining, I have known about this new law for awhile now.

I miss the old days, pre- 911 when we could just enter the U.S. with a flash of our driver's license. Now it's at least a 10 minute stop and nothing short of a rectal probe to enter into the U.S.

I remember once, last year while driving down into North Dakota for a weekend a U.S. duty patrol lady was quite upset that my daughter (then 4) could not open the van sliding door. The woman wanted the door open so that she could see in. (I guess she was figuring we were smuggling kids in??) My dh told the lady that my daughter couldn't open the door, that she was only 4 and that he would have to get out and open it for her. The woman huffed... sorry lady... Next time, we'll be sure to buy a van that has automatic door openers...

And then this fall, we went down for a day trip. After giving every piece of information possible the patrol guy wanted to look in the back of the van. Dh and I cringed. Not only was the van filthy dirty, we had things in the back... that when opened everything would fall out! LOL We survived that and the patrol guy really regretted opening up the back.

I don't think it will be any easier getting into the states with the passports though - it still will be a long wait, intense scrutiny with nothing short of a rectal probe...

May the passport Gods be in my favour and that I get them all before July 1st (we have no plans to enter the U.S. before that time!).

Reality

My alarm went off at 6:30a. I was ready for it. I did my usual - lie in bed, listen to the news and then hit snooze. I dozed off for 10/15 minutes and the alarm popped back on.. and again, I listened to the news/weather and dh came in to tell me how cold it was outside.

The kids got out of bed hostile, all except my 3 year old - bless her heart. That smile on her face when she wakes up, makes those around her smile. I feel for her though. Being forced to wake up because her older sibs have to go to school. Luckily for her - she just needs to eat her breakfast and then she spends the next 20 or so minutes, occupying the heat vent -- feeling it's warmth. It's her favorite spot in the house. Between her and my 9 year old, it's the most sought after spot in the house -- the kitchen vent.

I managed to put together a lunch for the kids. Ground one child once, threatened to send another kid to bed by 6p.m. if her attitude didn't improve. All in all, it was a pretty normal morning for us. Although changes will need to be made for 6 year old's routine. From now on, she's picking out her clothing the night before!!! I used to do this with the boys when they were younger, and eventually they just moved to their own pace and were able to choose their clothing -- o.k. o.k... it helped that they were in uniforms for the last 4 years... they had no choice. But my 6 yo is not in private school and no longer in uniforms. She has choices and those choice are made by how her mood is. God forbid she wears grey pants on a Monday. Yeah.. it's back to picking out your clothing the night before.

The walk to the van was somber. It was cold, bitterly cold. And dd (6) was crying because of her pants - but we didn't really have any time to rectify that.

As I stepped onto the drive, my heart stopped. There it all was. Just sitting there. That blasted snow we got on Saturday. The snow I forced myself NOT to shovel yesterday. I loaded the kids, unstuck a frozen door and off we drove to school. The city of Winnipeg will plow their streets. But, you never see pavement. They will also only sand a few feet before a stop sign. Yes, you read that right... it's crazy. At least cars will be able to stop at signs -- barely. I mean, it's a squirt of sand... not a good sprinkle whatsoever.

I got back home, saw my 9 year old off to school and then the shovel sat there.. staring at me. Calling me. Taunting me.

So, yes.. I did go and shovel. I didn't do a good job... but I did it. As soon as I move my van, I can get that side of the drive.. but for the most part, it's done back there. Then I shoveled out the street access to my insanely wide path. The plows were gentle and didn't pile up too high. Thank you plow guys/gal!!!!

Now, to focus my neurotic OCD onto my home. It won't snow for a few days, so hopefully I can switch gears!!!!

WINDCHILL WARNING

WIND CHILL WARNING: City of WinnipegIssued at 3:22 PM CST SUNDAY 4 JANUARY 2009

EXTREME WIND CHILL VALUES OF MINUS 40 TONIGHT.

BRISK WESTERLY WINDS OF 20 KM/H OVER SOUTHERN MANITOBA COMBINING WITH TEMPERATURES MINUS 30 TO MINUS 35 WILL PRODUCE WIND CHILLS IN THE MINUS 40 TO MINUS 45 RANGE TONIGHT. THESE CONDITIONS ARE EXPECTED TO CONTINUE MONDAY MORNING BEFORE MODERATING NEAR NOON AS WINDS DECREASE. FROSTBITE IS POSSIBLE WITHIN 10 MINUTES IN THESE CONDITIONS.

I did not...

shovel today. Instead, I decided to sleep in and laze about the house. I don't want to face the cold. At 4:33pm it's a -26c with a windchill factor of -38c. I'll concentrate on laundry instead.

Everyone goes back to school tomorrow. Everyone, that is except my 3 yo. She's in the middle of potty training -- still trying to figure out the whole underwear thing. Hopefully by the end of the week, I can send her off to school as well. I'll be doing a lot of laundry this week.

My 2 weeks of relaxation are over. My house will be quieter and life a bit more organized though.

I'm really not looking forward to that alarm going off at 6:30a.m. And I know my children, won't appreciate being woken up so early either.

I really do enjoy having everyone home and not having a schedule. But the weather has been so cold, that it really hampered any outside play. When skin will freeze in under a couple of minutes, you stay inside. I think everyone is ready to go back to school though.

I did not shovel today. And I'm glad I didn't. And I only obsessed over it for a couple of hours last night before falling asleep!

Shovels

I'll admit it. I'm probably ready for a 12 step program when it comes to snow clearing. My walks have to be just so. I don't utilize my children's youth as I should. It grates my nerves to see them do a lousy job. I won't tell them that, but I know I'll just go out afterwards and redo what they did. Even my husband doesn't do a good job -- as fact remains, no shoveling would be completed the entire Winter, if I did not exist anymore.

We got around 10 Cm overnight and throughout the day. And this afternoon, when it stopped snowing, I headed out with shovel in hand. There was so much snow. And you know, it probably would have been better if I just ignored the walk to the street -- I purposely made it wider... wide enough so that when we park the van on the street, there would be space for people to get in and out in comfort. No nasty snow pile to climb over, etc. And I made the walk wide.. all the way up to the side walk. Why? I have no clue. Not sure what the reasoning is for that. Our walk up to the house is narrow.. and I left it like that. And days like today, I'm glad I did.

But I exhausted myself. I really did. I didn't even attempt the back walk and drive. I couldn't physically make myself do it. But it's eating me up inside.

The thought of accumulated snow sitting there is driving me around the bend. Not the fact that it's only myself who shovels - the fact that I can't do it. My arm hurts.. my elbow that it.. it does need a rest -- and not entirely sure if it was because I took the Christmas tree down and tried to tackle the lights by myself... In any case - I know I'll lie in bed tonight, obsessing over it. But if I go out and shovel it, I'll lie in bed in pain.

Didn't help though, as dh left tonight for friends .... He told me the front walk was great! And I told him that there was no way I would be able to do the back tonight. He said that was fine, that he would just plow the car through it when he got home.

grrrrrrrrr... I know he meant nothing by it... again, he really doesn't care if it's shoveled or not - van has wheels to drive over stuff... he thinks I'm silly for even shoveling to begin with. But that phrase..."I will just plow the car through it when I get home" is going over and over in my head...

arrrggghhhh! Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I honestly wish I had some of this disorder for my home. I can live in disorder, just don't want to see it outside my home.

Oddity that I am. And I won't shovel tonight.

My name is Tracy and I'm a shovel-aholic.

Blog - itis

It's interesting how the holiday sort of put me in a rut with blogging. I did have a lot to write about, just didn't focus myself long enough to get it out. And I'm never really sure what to write about. You know - I just don't find my life exciting enough.

Then, during a New Years Eve get together at a friend's house. She asked me if I was into blogging. I was stunned. To be honest, I haven't come out of the closet, blog wise. I guess I was a little embarassed about it -- never really too sure what people would think of "me." I never want to come across as nerdy or odd... but fact remains, I probably am a bit "nerdy" or "odd" to begin with - LOL

So, instead of actually answering her question, I asked "why?" LOL Because that is what insecure people do when trapped into a corner of such a direct question. I'm sure she was smart enough to know, that yes, in fact I did have a blog... just too shy to come clean LOL

She said, my life always sounds exciting. My eyebrows raise a bit then... "really?"

She said my Facebook status line are so interesting... she said a few other things as well... all very promising, all good. And yet, I never said squat. LOL I was stunned.

I just never thought my life was exciting. Being a stay-at-home mom, is boring. I thought it was. I mean, I cherish every moment I have with my kids. They drive me bonkey and utterly in love all at once. But, cleaning my house, doing laundry and re-cleaning the house just isn't exciting to me.

But it's my life and my life is me. (ugh.. that sounds too kate gosselin like, doesn't it??)