Shovels

I'll admit it. I'm probably ready for a 12 step program when it comes to snow clearing. My walks have to be just so. I don't utilize my children's youth as I should. It grates my nerves to see them do a lousy job. I won't tell them that, but I know I'll just go out afterwards and redo what they did. Even my husband doesn't do a good job -- as fact remains, no shoveling would be completed the entire Winter, if I did not exist anymore.

We got around 10 Cm overnight and throughout the day. And this afternoon, when it stopped snowing, I headed out with shovel in hand. There was so much snow. And you know, it probably would have been better if I just ignored the walk to the street -- I purposely made it wider... wide enough so that when we park the van on the street, there would be space for people to get in and out in comfort. No nasty snow pile to climb over, etc. And I made the walk wide.. all the way up to the side walk. Why? I have no clue. Not sure what the reasoning is for that. Our walk up to the house is narrow.. and I left it like that. And days like today, I'm glad I did.

But I exhausted myself. I really did. I didn't even attempt the back walk and drive. I couldn't physically make myself do it. But it's eating me up inside.

The thought of accumulated snow sitting there is driving me around the bend. Not the fact that it's only myself who shovels - the fact that I can't do it. My arm hurts.. my elbow that it.. it does need a rest -- and not entirely sure if it was because I took the Christmas tree down and tried to tackle the lights by myself... In any case - I know I'll lie in bed tonight, obsessing over it. But if I go out and shovel it, I'll lie in bed in pain.

Didn't help though, as dh left tonight for friends .... He told me the front walk was great! And I told him that there was no way I would be able to do the back tonight. He said that was fine, that he would just plow the car through it when he got home.

grrrrrrrrr... I know he meant nothing by it... again, he really doesn't care if it's shoveled or not - van has wheels to drive over stuff... he thinks I'm silly for even shoveling to begin with. But that phrase..."I will just plow the car through it when I get home" is going over and over in my head...

arrrggghhhh! Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I honestly wish I had some of this disorder for my home. I can live in disorder, just don't want to see it outside my home.

Oddity that I am. And I won't shovel tonight.

My name is Tracy and I'm a shovel-aholic.